Time of Day
by Keys Studio
Summary: Karkat messed up. Badly. That was made clear by Kankri. Can things be made up between them when Kankri decides to talk to Karkat after three long years? Read and find out. Humanstuck, AU, kind of sort of Vantascest (not really but it can be if people want more chapters), lots of swearing, possible OOC, and cussing. First Homestuck fic! Read and review please!


**I'm sorry in advance if someone is OOC and if there is any typos!**

**HUMANSTUCK AU!**

**I don't own Homestuck, Andrew Hussie-sama does!**

**[xXx]**

I never meant for him to treat me any differently.

I never meant for him to ignore my presence.

I never meant for him to turn up his nose at me.

I never meant any of it.

I was just sick of it.

Of his constant fucking talking. Of his continuous fucking blathering. I could ask him a simple question, like, "What's for lunch?" and he would spend an hour explaining to me the whole entire fucking nutrition box thing on the sides of food products and other things. I could ask him how to solve a math problem that I didn't understand, and he would explain to me the whole damn state standards and how teachers are to teach them to their students in some form of lesson plan and that the students have to understand it all. I couldn't handle it.

I couldn't handle him preaching sermons at me.

I couldn't handle being unable to get a word in edge wise.

I couldn't handle his fucking intelligence.

I couldn't, I couldn't, I fucking couldn't.

And all because of one day, one simple, bad day, I fucked up everything.

I fucked up our friendship. I fucked it up royally.

Now everything is gone.

Broken.

Smashed.

All because I couldn't keep my fucking mouth shut. Good job, Karkat. Good fucking job.

A sermon about how drugs and alcohol can kill you after math class was how it all started. He had been explaining how smoking tabacco could damage my lungs and heighten my chances of getting lung cancer. He had been explaining how drinking alcohol kills brain cells and destroys my liver.

All I heard was '6lah 6lah 6lah' and all I saw was red. I shouldn't have went off on him like I did. I embarrassed him in front of everyone. Meenah, Feferi, Chronus, Eridan, Rose, Roxy, Dave, Dirk, John... Everyone. I had screamed and shouted and practically slammed every fucking secret he ever entrusted to me back in his face. I had rendered him speechless. I had been seething and I was pretty sure my palms were bleeding from how hard I was digging my nails into them.

I shouldn't have done that.

I should have kept my mouth shut.

I could have yelled 'Trigger!' instead.

But no.

I'm the fucking fuckass who had to embarrass the one person I actually found myself liking, even if he _did_ talk way too damn much. I'm the fucking fuckass who threw everything he ever entrusted to me back in his face.

I couldn't face him again.

Not for three fucking years.

And even then, I knew I felt like shit about it.

I wish I could rewind time.

I wish I could stop myself from ever doing that to him.

But now, with it all said and done, I knew I couldn't do anything to change it.

So I berated myself more and more.

I gave myself hatespeeches, overly pissed off at myself.

I tried to vent, I did.

But I couldn't.

Every time I tried, I wanted to inflict bodily harm to myself.

I wanted nothing more than to curl up in on myself and just die, cold and alone.

Just like I was meant to do in the first place.

Every time I saw Kankri, and he saw me, he would glare at me and look away, his nose in the air. If I tried to talk to him, he would flatout ignore me. If I asked him a question, he would just growl, as if I had offended him.

I know what you're thinking.

I deserve this.

I know I do.

I agree with you entirely.

But...

I want to be forgiven by him. Even if it takes a long time for me to make it up to him.

Even if it means humiliating myself for him.

If that was what it would take for him to forgive me, then I would do it.

I would stand up in the middle of the entire school, the entire student body and faculty, and spill out every secret I had to offer.

I would stand up on the top of the world and scream every secret so loud that whatever cruel gog was up there could hear me.

He hated me.

And I never resented him for it.

Cause I would hate me too if I did to myself what I did to him.

No amount of therapy can make shit like that right again.

No amount of apologies would ever make him forgive me.

Not now.

Not ever.

"Karkat?"

I looked up, my eyes dead and my mind emotionally drained. It took a moment for my mind to register that it had been John who adressed me. "YEAH, WHAT DO YOU WANT, FUCKASS?"

"Kankri is coming this way."

I tensed. I looked up and over, anxiety racking through my body. Kankri was making a beeline straight for me. He grabbed my arm. "Y9u. Me. Bathr99m. Right n9w." He didn't give me a chance to reply. He dragged me from the table, dragging me to his mentioned destination. He looked absolutely furious. And... upset? Why would he look upset? His scarlet eyes were burning with tears, and his chest was heaving up and down at a heavy pace. His cheeks were flushed with anger. Once inside the bathroom, he pinned me to the wall.

"Karkat," he started, heaving. "I... I..." His breathing picked up.

"U-UM... R-RELAX... T-TAKE YOUR TIME," I told him, shaking. I haven't seen him look this angry since three years prior when I embarrassed him so badly...

Kankri attempted to calm down, holding my arms in his hands tightly as he laid his head against my shoulder. His whole body was trembling. He was furious. At who or what, I didn't know. After about thirty minutes, though, he finally began to calm down. He looked up at me, eye to eye. "I can't... take 6eing away... fr9m y9u anym9re..."

"WH-WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?"

"I-I'm... saying..." He paused for a moment to try and even out his breathing. "I... think it w9uld 6e 6est t9... explain fr9m the 6eginning..." He inhaled. "I... had a dream... a69ut three years ag9. Y9u remem6er, d9n't y9u, Karkat?" I nervously nodded my head. "I... realize n9w... my 9wn mistake..."

"YOUR MISTAKE...?" I asked him, startled and confused.

"I... didn't realize it at the time..." he continued, swallowing a lump in his throat. "I... Makara... Gamzee, I think...? He t9ld me... that y9u and he... had g9tten int9 an arguement, 9f s9rts... that m9rning... and I didn't... n9tice the tell tale signs... and I..." He tightened his grip on my arms slightly, causing me to flinch. "I... unintenti9nally... tripped 9ver a trigger... And n9w... I'm s9 furi9us at myself... th-that... I can 6arely breathe pr9perly..." He stopped, seemingly finished for the moment. He panted heavily, laying his head against my shoulder again. "I felt... s9 mad at y9u... all these years... when I... was the 9ne t9 6lame..."

"KANKRI..."

"D9n't."

"I'M SORRY."

"Karkat, y9u have n9thing t9 ap9l9gize f9r."

"I BETRAYED YOUR TRUST. I THINK THAT'S SOMETHING TO FUCKING APOLOGIZE FOR."

Kankri lifted his head tiredly, looking worn out. I didn't notice it earlier, but his eyes had bags under them from lack of sleep. "Karkat..."

"I KNOW THAT YOU CAN'T FORGIVE ME..."

"Karkat..."

"AND I KNOW I'M A ROYAL FUCKASS WHO CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT..."

"Karkat."

"AND I KNOW THAT YOU MUST STILL HATE ME..."

"Karkat!"

I stopped, lookig at him. He shook his head disapprovingly at me.

"I t9ld y9u. I'm the 9ne at fault here, n9t y9u. Granted, I want t9 beat y9u with a sledge hammer f9r d9ing what y9u did, 6ut all 9f that c9uld have 6een av9ided if I had realized that y9u were in n9 way willing t9 hear the vast kn9wledge in which I had t9 offer..."

"KANKRI..."

"I sh9uld have n9tice that y9u were 9n the edge 9f snapping-."

"KANKRI, CAN YOU PLEASE SHUT UP FOR TWO SECONDS?"

The male looked at me startled. "W-what?"

I shook my head. "GOG, EVEN AFTER THREE YEARS, YOU STILL TALK WAY TOO DAMN MUCH."

"K-Karkat-."

I gave him a small smile that made him fall quiet. "WHY DON'T WE BOTH SAY WE'RE SORRY AND TRY TO BE FRIENDS AGAIN, OKAY?"

"Y-y9u still-."

"YES."

"Y9u d9n't care a69ut-?"

"NOT FUCKING ENOUGH TO BE WORTHY OF THE DIRT UNDER MY SHOES."

"H9w... h9w sh9uld we restart 9ur friendship...?"

"EASY. GIVE ME A SERMON ON HOW TWO IDIOTS GO FROM ONE HATING THE OTHER'S GUTS AND THE OTHER REGRETTING WHATEVER DUMB SHIT HE DID TO THE FIRST GUY AND HOW ALL THAT MIND FUCKERY SHINANIGAN BULLSHIT WORKS."


End file.
